


On My Mind, Out of Time

by JustSmileStuffHappens (ksz13)



Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [50]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Despair, Desperation, Dorks in Love, Drug Use, Drugs, Everybody Lives, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, Locked In, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Matter of Life and Death, Medical, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Near Death Experiences, No Sex, No Smut, Protectiveness, References to Drugs, Suicidal Thoughts, Trapped, Unconsciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24691114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksz13/pseuds/JustSmileStuffHappens
Summary: Prompt: Eddie is mad at Buck over the lawsuit, they get trapped in a collapsed building with the air running out. Eddie stubbornly holds onto his anger but Buck comes up with the 'perfect' solution. He pulls a knife and prepares to use it on himself, like a stab to the heart or his jugular. Eddie freaks out and wrestles the knife away just as help finally arrives. Buck goes home expecting to be alone when Eddie barges in. Life affirming lovemaking happens, then Eddie takes Buck home to Chris
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [50]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582147
Comments: 6
Kudos: 271





	On My Mind, Out of Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Out of Breath](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22266286) by [LouiseLouise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouiseLouise/pseuds/LouiseLouise). 



> altered the prompt a bit like usual

**_On My Mind, Out of Time_ **

The crew had just gotten back from saving a couple who thought base jumping off of buildings was cool and not dangerous as all hell.

Buck had gotten the guy down from the power line before his parachute could ignite. Eddie helped the woman to the ground from the tree she got stuck in.

As Hen and Chim treated her scrapes Buck and Bobby brought the guy over to be looked at before being arrested.

Neither were too hurt but it could have gone a lot worse. 

"Next time get your kicks legally with less chance of endangering yourselves and others man." Buck told him while shaking his head. 

Bobby had agreed silently with him as the woman was in cuffs being escorted away.

Now they were back at the station. Hen and Chim were talking while Buck was on his phone reading an article.

It wasn't as bad as his first day back but it was hardly any better.

Eddie still hadn't talked to Buck much since Howie's market and Bobby had only told him he was back on duty but he'd be watching him to make sure he was safe.

Like buck wasn't always trying to be safe, sometimes things just didn't work out how he planned. It was the same with the others.

All of Buck's attempts to talk to Eddie got interrupted or all he got back in reply was silence.

Buck both didn't want to push and didn't know if he should even be allowed to now.

Eddie was over lifting weights as far as he could possibly be from where buck currently was at.

Buck got up as the alarm got their attention.

They were in the truck and ambulance in under a minute as they went to their next call.

* * *

"The building is in need of evacuation. Possible gas leak. We're clearing people out and checking for anyone who may be unconscious or affected."

"Isn't that the address to a n old hotel?" buck asked while getting looks from the others. He shrugged. "What? I read." 

Eddie's smirk was quickly hidden as Buck turned to him after looking to the others and Bobby.

"Yes. I believe so. When we get there we'll break off into three pairs while Hen and Chim will be assisting the other ambulances called in to treat people. Everyone understand?" Bobby asked.

He got a round of agreements.

* * *

Buck and Eddie got an older man out of his room while the others finished the sweep of the last floor.

The top two floors were empty and had saved them some time. 

They were finished getting everyone out aside from the main staff talking to police for details on what happened. 

The leak was somewhere between floors 5 and 6 since that's where the first calls came from. Now all gas had been cut completely to stop it finally after getting the maintenance crew to come help in their efforts. 

The building would be safe with ventilation and all the people they'd found were being treated.

Eddie and Buck were standing farther back silently listening to Bobby along with Athena and others talking to the head staff.

"You." Buck heard a voice.

Buck turned around to see some woman at the elevator. Her uniform said she was staff.

"Are you okay ma'am?" Buck asked while walking closer.

"I need help. Come quick." She urged them towards her.

Eddie must have heard because he was right beside buck as he grabbed a medical bag and they went to follow her.

"The stairs?" Buck asked. 

"No. Hurry." She said.

He didn't argue. They got in the elevator.

"Cap, me and Eddie are taking the elevator. Someone's in trouble. We'll update you in a second." Buck relayed while waiting for her to press which floor as he listened for Bobby.

He didn't see which button she pressed as the elevator started moving. Eddie was looking between them and turned to her.

"What happened?" He asked. Trying to get info for them.

"I don't know. One second he's fine, the next he's foaming at the mouth like he's got rabies." 

That got a look from Eddie as he turned to Buck. 

They were already at their floor when they looked to see the light not showing a number. 

"What floor is this?" Eddie asked while confused.

"It's not a floor, it's the basement." She corrected him.

"There's a basement?!" Buck asked as the doors opened.

They came out to a lobby looking area just then.

"This way. I think he's dying." They didn't mention to her they had started running with her as soon as they got out of the elevator.

"Cap we're in the basement. We're told there's a male showing signs of distress, foaming at the mouth and possibly unconscious." Buck shouted before they came to the other end of the lobby.

There was a vault.

"Don't worry Ma'am we've got him. Hang back." Buck told her.

The door was already open to show a man faced down. 

Buck put down his bag as he and Eddie came closer.

They needed to assess the guy quickly. Before Eddie could turn him over he got up on his own.

Buck saw that he had a gun.

"Thank you gentlemen." He said with a smirk as they both put their hands up. 

The woman screamed and ran.

As the gun was aimed at Eddie Buck tried to get his attention. "Hey! Hey. No one needs to get hurt. Don't shoot!" He pleaded. 

Both Buck and Eddie's hands were up to prevent him getting nervous and firing the gun.

He flicked his head for Eddie to move over towards Buck.

As soon as Eddie was closer Buck took a forward step to cover him by stepping in front.

"Gimme your jacket and helmet big guy." He ordered Buck. 

Buck complied trying to keep him from getting agitated. 

Wait? He was going to try blending in. No way it'd work.

"Sorry guys but I've gotta go." He sneered as he stepped back with Buck's gear kicked out of the vault into the main lobby. 

"No! You can't leave us in here," Buck shouted at the man.

"What the fuck!" Eddie would have charged for the door but Buck was blocking his way.

Eddie kicked the med bag in front of them towards the door to try stopping it only for a smaller edged portion to be crushed under the force of it closing.

"Dammit." Eddie beat the door.

"Bobby! CAP!" Buck radioed.

Only a short crackle came back.

* * *

Bobby had lowered his radio a bit to prevent interference. 

"So you're saying it was tampered with?" Athena asked.

"I don't see how it wasn't. I just had the place checked. We meet inspections like usual." The owner said but looked nervous.

"I'm sure we'd all like to see the documents. Si-"

"Cap, me and Eddie are taking the elevator. Someone's in trouble. We'll update you in a second." Bobby heard as he stepped away to raise his radio.

"Buck?" He tried again. "Eddie?"

Athena came over. "Something happening Bobby?"

"I think so. Anyone else picking up Buck or Eddie?" He asked the others on the frequency. 

"Cap we're in the-" Buck said but it was like it cut out half way.

"Buck? Eddie? This is Bobby, respond. That's an order." He said and waited.

"We got nothing Cap." Terry said echoed by the others.

"They were just by us a second ago. Can I get each of your teams to check floors 2 and 3."

"We'll take 3 Cap." Terry said.

"Copy, Cap." Xander said.

With them taking the above floors closest to them Bobby would stay back to keep an eye on the ground floor. They had to come back here. 

It was a solid few minutes of the crew saying they didn't see either Buck or Eddie before returning. They even went to the floors higher up again.

"Where the heck are they?" Bobby asked himself.

* * *

Chim and Hen were out in the ambulance waiting for the other members of the crew to finish.

They just finished treating the last of those affected with symptoms. Thankfully everyone hadn't had enough exposure to warrant actually taking them in after a check up. But they were sent on their way with instructions of warning though.

"Chim. Hen."

"We read your Cap." Hen replied.

"Are either of you picking up Buck or Eddie or happen to see them?" Bobby asked.

"They're still in the building as far as we know." She said. "Our radio got them but cut out."

"We're outside and have a vantage point of two sides of the building. So we'd have to see them Bobby, I'm pretty sure." Chim said as he looked both at the front and side. 

"That's what I thought. If you two see or hear anything relay it asap." Bobby requested.

"Yes sir." Chim said while starting down the side of the outside into back.

He came to the end and looked past the corner. The far back was fairly open. Aside from a few cars there wasn't anyone.

Chim was coming back towards Hen when he heard a noise and turned around.

He saw a turnout coat and a woman dressed in what was best described as office clothing.

"You okay?"

She looked spooked.

The other firefighter looked to be talking to her in a hushed whisper he couldn't hear.

"I don't feel good." She told him while holding her stomach.

"Come this way and we can treat you ma'am. Bring her over." Chim ordered. 

"Sorry. You can take her. I've got orders to check the back of the building." Came a deep voice, one Chim hadn't heard before.

"Oh. Okay?" Chim asked. He didn't remember them getting a new guy or transfer recently.

But the woman pulled his focus away from the guy.

He looked to be thinking for a millisecond.

"Don't wanna disappoint the boss." With that he turned and started in the opposite direction. 

That's when chimney read the name printed on the jacket.

He was right. Play it cool.

"Let's get you looked at ma'am." He ushered her to the ambulance. Trying not to take too many glances back.

"Cap. I've got an update on Buck." Chim said while running through the description of the guy he'd just seen in his head.

"Yeah?"

"Some man just came out pretending to be him. I had to let him go to help a woman. He's headed towards the back. You can't miss him if he's still wearing Buck's jacket. There's only two cars out back. A red suv and a grey van." Chim began. 

He then gave a description of man's height, build and what facial features he could make out in their interaction. 

"I've got it. Passing the info to dispatch. You three okay?" Athena asked.

"He didn't double back yet if he's planning to. We've got ya Ms."

He helped her into the ambulance and shut the doors. It was best to move closer to the cop cars nearby just in case.

"Her name tag says V. Reina." 

* * *

"Stop banging on it." Eddie shook his head.

Buck had taken to hitting it in the hopes it'd signal for help.

"Well, we're not getting out by sitting around." Buck replied.

"Yes we are. That thing's thick. We don't have any tools. There's no telling when people will notice we're gone. Our only hope is that she escapes and makes it out alive to tell someone we're here." Eddie rattled off.

"This vaults a secret. And whatever he took was worth threatening our lives for." Buck agreed after calming down.

"Exactly. Either it's drugs or money. Both mean whoever finds us isn't gonna be happy. And worse they might blame us or leave us to try covering their tracks." Eddie looked around.

There were a few slots open but no contents remained.

"How long do you think we have?" Buck asked.

"I don't know. Judging from the size maybe over an hour of air, or an hour and a half at most."

"Good." Buck said, nodding.

"But there's two of us- so. I'd cut that in half and round down. Don't exert yourself. You'll use up more air." Eddie told buck.

Buck took a seat next to the door as Eddie came closer to sit.

"And this one has to be sealed like the other ones we've dealt with before." Buck groaned.

"That's how they usually are. Sorry but- We should stop talking. It takes up more air Buck." Eddie said beside him.

The contact of Eddie sitting right by him was like feeling sunlight after spending what felt like weeks underground.

"I won't talk much more since it lessens our chances but- I'm sorry."

"Buck." Eddie interrupted.

"No. I have to say it. I really mean it." Buck looked towards the door willing it to open.

* * *

"Hen. Has she mentioned anything about Buck or Eddie yet?" Bobby asked.

"No. She's in shock. There's no cuts or bruising."

"We've got guys looking out for vehicles fitting the description Chim said. If they're still inside then we need to talk to the people who run the place." Athena said while her and Bobby moved to get back with the owner and the head off the staff.

"We need a word with you." Bobby said as they came over and saw the owner now looked very angry with his phone.

* * *

"You're not the only one that's sorry. I didn't mean to say that in the market. You were just there at the wrong time for me." Eddie said, looking straight ahead.

"I'm either there at the wrong time or not there at the right time," Buck chuckled.

"No. You were in the right. You won the lawsuit." Eddie told him.

"Doesn't feel like it though." Buck sighed while picking at his nail. He'd gotten out of the habit but-

Buck looked at his watch that he only really wore while on duty. It'd been over ten minutes. They probably only had thirty left. 

* * *

"Two of their guys are missing and someone you never identified as being in the building just left with one of their jackets. Explain yourself now." Athena commanded as the owner looked defensive.

"I want my lawyer." 

Another officer started reading him his rights and put cuffs on him. 

"Okay. If anyone would like to avoid jail time or assist us please speak up." She asked.

The three other staff members all looked between each other.

"He knows." The younger ones pointed towards an older man. 

"I'll explain it but I need protection."

"You'll need protection if the guys are hurt." Athena said.

"Not from you. From the clients." The guy looked unbothered.

* * *

"If something were to happen to me, theoretically, you'd have more air right?" Buck asked.

"You got a heart condition now too?" Eddie asked with a skeptical look on his face. 

"No. But-"

Eddie's hand reached over to grab Buck's wrist reaching for his utility knife.

"Don't-" Eddie stared into Buck's eyes and shook his head.

"You need to survive." Buck said.

"And you don't?" Eddie asked.

"Well yeah I want to but if you die-"

"If doesn't usually go with good things. They could find us before that. Even if we run out of air we've got what a minute or two before it starts to have long lasting damage." 

"Could be less. As soon as we lose consciousness we'd start the process of brain death." Buck supplied gravely.

"But that's still at least twenty five minutes away." Eddie said.

Buck didn't realize he'd been counting too but it figured. 

* * *

Bobby and Athena looked between themselves and the head of staff. 

"They're not on any floor."

"We're in the- not we're on." Athena thought about the words Buck had last said to Bobby.

"They have to be in the basement. Nowhere else."

"That wasn't detailed in our sweep." Bobby said.

"You didn't need to check it. There wasn't a leak there and only certain people even know it exists." He said, looking smug.

"And these people would threaten your life if we found out?" Athena asked.

"I can't open the vault. Only the owner, Mr. Flats or our concierge, Ms. Reina can." He told them while looking towards the elevator. 

"Take us to the vault now."

The guy led the way.

* * *

"We're down to what maybe half our air supply?' Buck asked. 

"Remember to try not talking. We need to conserve air." Eddie told him.

"We're at the point where they've gotta know we're missing. I don't want to be the guy to say it but- just in case, do you want to write a message on your phone." Buck said.

"We're not dying."

Eddie's phone was near dead right now anyways.

"I- okay." Buck didn't want to argue with him on this.

He added to his message to Maddie, Christopher and the others. He loved them and they tried to come up with a way out.

"Now's the time for a plan for helping our odds." Buck said.

"You try pulling your knife and I'll pull it out of your hand Buck." Eddie didn't look at him.

It hurt that buck would think of doing that. Leaving him alone in here to be found or still die too.

"If it helps your odds. I don't like it but- you're not coming up with a different solution to help extend our time." Buck hadn't taken his eyes off of Eddie.

Eddie got this look on his face.

Buck looked at his watch. There was 15 minutes, probably less.

* * *

Bobby and Athena rode the elevator down while ordering for one of the two to be escorted down. They preferred the owner as the woman was still in shock.

Bobby's and Athena's radio both cut out once they started to walk into the underground lobby.

"There's a signal jammer in here. No one's permitted to communicate with anyone while coming and needs to be supervised at all times." He said while walking them in.

"Is that?" Athena asked.

"Kill that damn jammer now. They're in there." Bobby said while looking at the bit of bag poking out from the vault door.

* * *

"There's a sedative somewhere in here." Eddie moved through the bag while praying that it wasn't crushed in his haste.

Sure enough it was still intact.

"What for?"

"For you. It'll slow your breathing down and buy us more time. I'll make sure you're still getting air but you also won't be moving using up more oxygen too." Eddie took a syringe and a vial.

"Okay." Buck nodded.

If it gave them a chance then he was for it.

Eddie wouldn't volunteer and knew he couldn't now with how Buck had thought earlier. Plus Buck didn't like giving shots.

"You're gonna be okay without me keeping you company?" Buck joked while rolling up his sleeve to prepare for it.

"I'll manage. We'll talk later." Eddie said while making sure the dose was enough to knock buck out but no more than necessary. 

They were already in danger. He wanted to avoid adding to it.

Buck put down his phone after doing something quickly as he gave Eddie his arm to swab.

"We're gonna make it out of this." 'You're gonna make it out,' Buck said, thought.

"We are. I promise." Eddie administered the dose while watching it take effect.

His watch showed they had around 8 minutes. They were already likely cutting it close.

Eddie checked Buck's breathing.

* * *

The jammer was shut off in the side office.

"Where's Flats?" Athena radioed.

"He's not downstairs yet?" Another officer asked.

"No."

"But, Zain was bringing him to you." Webster said.

"They're not down here. We need units around the ambulance with Ms. Reina. Until Zain explains himself, do not trust him. The hotel is in illegal business. We need Ms. Reina escorted down here now."

"Chim, Hen." Bobby asked.

"She's starting to come around. She keeps saying 'They're stuck' I think." Hen said while they got her up.

They got out of the ambulance and were escorted in. 

They were nearing the elevator when the officers escorting them stopped and drew their weapons at another officer.

Chim and Hen tried moving Ms. Reina back.

"Zain drop it!" One of the officer's shouted.

"She can't live. She talks and things are gonna get bad." He said looking out of it.

That's when they saw him jerk and his gun going off.

They ducked as there was a struggle.

Another officer behind Zain had gotten the drop on him. The bullet went high and lodged in a pillar. He was now subdued.

"We've gotta go." Chim said while they took Ms. Reina to the elevator during the scuffle.

She pulled out her access key and picked the basement.

* * *

Eddie tried to control his own breathing. Buck was laying beside him and they were both out of the door's way.

He was starting to feel the effects. Maybe 4 minutes. Likely less. 

"I'm sorry Buck. If we don't make it- you were the best friend I've ever had. One that stayed." Eddie allowed the slight traitorous tear to fall.

Buck couldn't reply to him. His steady breath helped Eddie though even as he was out. 

Eddie was never one for meditation but he'd been forced to two yoga classes before and hated it that he sucked at it.

He tried to remember what it was they said usually.

That's when he noted Buck's phone in his slack hand.

He shouldn't check it. 

It flashed with a silent notification. 

'Times up.' It read as the timer buck had set was now out.

No. Eddie had to think. It was getting harder to think though.

He opened the pockets to the bag and sifted around. He batted medical tape and tools away.

His watch hit something making a sound that drew his attention.

That wasn't supposed to be there. But he'd take any small mercy that they could get now.

* * *

"Why isn't it opening?" Chim asked while they looked at the door beside her and the panel.

"It shut without a password entry. It locks out access for an hour outside if executive permissions." Ms. Reina explained to them.

"How long has it been since they've been in there? How much air did they have?" Hen asked while they all looked between one another.

"I- I don't know. The hour should be up soon. I can just keep trying, it doesn't show but my authorization won't lock it more." She told them while trying again.

* * *

Eddie had pulled Buck closer. His head was in Eddie's lap. He needed to save effort now.

Buck took in the oxygen from the smaller grade tank. 

Eddie took a few breaths. 

He kept alternating between them while trying to stay calm.

'Come on. Find us.' 

Were they any closer?

Eddie's own phone had died and right now Buck's idea of a message wasn't looking crazy.

He pulled up the app Buck was using before and prepared to make a new note.

What he saw startled him.

He continued mechanically giving buck breaths and then himself as he read. 

Should he be reading this? He shouldn't. It was an invasion- But he couldn't pull his eyes away.

He scrolled down to add his own message as he took a second to check on Buck's pulse. Good.

He finished typing.

Eddie placed a kiss to Buck's forehead. He'd blame the air.

It was starting to get harder to continue alternating between them. He felt light headed.

Eddie opened the valve for the rest of the little tank as he took a lying position beside buck. 

2 minutes. They had-

Eddie lost consciousness.

* * *

The door beeped again in rejecting access to open it.

The crew had ordered the others to bring any equipment that could be vital to helping buck and Eddie once they got out.

Finally the vault accepted it.

The door was pushed open faster by the team.

"Shit. I've got Buck." Chim said once they got sight of them.

"Checking for pulse and breath." Hen shot back. "Eddie's breathing."

"Buck's not breathing." Chim got a bag mask to start on Buck.

That's when Bobby noted the phone and the capped syringe. 

Eddie jumped up as Hen was checking him over. "Eddie."

It startled Bobby enough to get him to forget about the objects.

"Buck! He's on-" Eddie caught his breath. "Tr-" he pointed at the vial for the others to get and read. "Sedated." He got out.

"Eddie, that could have." Hen said, recognizing it.

"I checked on him until I passed out. I made sure the dose was just enough to put him out"

Buck's eyes fluttered to life.

"Buck. You with us buddy?" Chim asked while he sat up.

"Eddie!" He pulled away the mask helping him breathe.

"I'm okay. We're both okay." Eddie reached out to touch Buck's knee in comfort.

It was both for buck and himself.

"The lady?" Buck asked. 

Because of course once they were okay he'd move on to the other person in danger.

"I'm right here Mr. Buckley." Ms. Reina said, smiling from the door with Athena beside her.

* * *

Reina would be taken into custody and offer up as much info as she had to lessen her sentence. 

Athena noted that she cooperated and was vital to saving two firefighters so she'd put in a good word if needed.

Buck and Eddie were taken into the hospital ironically with symptoms similar to the others that they'd come to help with.

The doctors said that if Eddie had given Buck any more of the sedative that he may have stopped breathing.

From where they were both sitting and being looked at Eddie looked uneasy.

"I tried to weigh the options. He's gonna be okay though?" He asked.

"Yes. Mr. Buckley, you'll be just fine. We'll need to keep an eye on you both for any side effects of the oxygen deprivation but Mr. Diaz while it wasn't ideal, your actions did likely aid in keeping you both alive long enough to be extracted from that vault. And the canister of O2 also was a much needed aid as well." She said while patting Buck.

"Why was that in there? We usually only have one on the truck." Chim asked.

"I think one fell in while I was preparing that med bag and restocking it with supplies." Buck said, trying to think back. It had been a day or two but that one had a distinct chip on a zipper.

"Well, that mistake very well saved your lives. I'm told the others from the hotel are already out of those who did come here." The doctor said. 

"We're heading back to the station. You two rest up. We'll see you later." Bobby said.

Hen came over one last time to hug buck. 

"That was some quick thinking." She told Eddie. 

"More like dumb luck. I could have hurt Buck worse." 

"I'm right here. Very much alive." Buck butted in as they hung back to be admitted to a room while the others left them.

At their request for a shared room Dr. James did what she could. 

Buck was sitting on his bed on a call with Maddie.

Eddie was informing Carla that if she couldn't stay with Chris he'd try getting let out early or she could take him to Abuela then.

They ended their conversations as a silence fell upon the room.

"Buck."

"I know you accepted my apology inside there but- I know you might have just been-."

"You didn't need to apologize for the lawsuit. Or what happened because of it. I- you didn't mean for it to be like that. Neither did I"

"Eddie. Did you?" Buck was looking at his phone.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you might." Buck didn't turn back to Eddie yet.

"Mine died. And your idea was-" 'Tempting. Crazy. Not needed but very well could have been.'

Buck scrolled down it. 

Past his message to Maddie and the others. And the one he'd written to Christopher about Eddie. Under him saying it wasn't Eddie's fault if things went south with the sedative. 

There was another part added.

'If by some chance I don't make it but he does. I want Buck to help my Abuela with Christopher. - Eddie Diaz.' A signature was added in on the note too.

Buck stared at it for the longest time. Was this real?

"You thought-"

"It was a possibility. My phone died halfway through our hour." Eddie said getting up. "You didn't change your password either."

"I didn't have a reason to." Buck said, finally turning to Eddie.

"And there's another thing." Eddie's hand came over Buck's knee again. "Christopher needs you to live too. If you love him like I know you do then that means living to see him again."

Buck took a breath.

"I'm not- I don't want to die. You and Bobby might think that. But I'm ready to do everything I can for other people. I can't keep helping people if I die. But if I don't try everything possible and think of a way then I'll have to live with thinking I could have done more for them." Buck said looking into Eddie's eyes.

"I know you do everything you can buck. I've seen it first hand. Maybe I'm selfish if I want you alive at the end of the day." Eddie said with conviction.

"I didn't leave before. I would have answered if you called but- I'm not leaving again. I promise." Buck told Eddie.

Eddie leaned in to hug buck then and Buck welcomed it fully.

"Hey. This is gonna sound weird, but- I think I dreamed of hearing you talk. Or I wasn't completely out. And I felt this- umm." 'Kiss'

"I was- I did. I guess you heard some of it." Eddie swallowed.

He pulled back. Buck missed it already.

"Okay. Umm. Maybe I was just imagining things then." 

Buck couldn't get it out.

The kiss, it didn't mean anything. It was while under duress. Eddie thought-

"What did you imagine?" Eddie asked. He needed to know.

"Did you touch- did you- kiss- my forehead- in there?" 

Buck jumped and hoped to land.

"I thought I might lose you. For real this time. And it could be my fault." Eddie said.

"No it wouldn't be. And- You're not denying it."

"There's nothing to deny." Eddie looked at Buck unwaveringly.

Buck reached to slowly take Eddie's hand. 

"I'm- I- we made it out."

"Yeah. We should probably rest. We're going back on shift tomorrow afternoon."

Eddie got up but didn't go to his bed yet.

"You- you think Chris still wants to see me- after." Buck asked.

"I know he does. So do I. We should- next time you're off at the same time as me, you can come over." Eddie said.

"I- I'd like that. I had this thing I wanted to give him, actually." Buck said as Eddie turned to him while finally on his bed again.

"What is it?" He was curious.

"That day- before- he won this bear."

"He mentioned that to his psychologist." Eddie said. 

Buck's head snapped up.

"I- I had to- see someone before they put me on light duty for being a fire marshal." Buck admitted to Eddie.

"I didn't know that." Eddie said. 'you didn't tell me that'

"You had plenty of stuff-. We were both busy." Buck offered.

"Maybe talking to you will help. I didn't want to add onto yo-"

"Christopher's- nothing would make me not want to see him. Even if it wasn't easy, if it'd help with him, I'd do it."

At that Eddie had to look away from the fiery promise in Buck's eyes, he fully meant it.

"I- I believe you."

They came into a comfortable silence then as Eddie laid back.

Buck would have to wait to bring up that kiss. The memory would be in his head as a corner thought until he talked to Eddie about it more. 

Was it just a one time thing?

If they're about to die again would Eddie maybe do it again?

Did- it mean as much to Eddie?

"Stop thinking Buck. Relax. We're okay. You're okay. I'm okay. We're gonna be okay. The rest, can wait." Eddie said.

It was like they were in each other's heads but couldn't read the other's thoughts though.

"Hey Eddie."

"Yeah?"

"Just to clarify. Would it be okay if I kissed your forehead? Or?" 

That got a full laugh out of Eddie. "I'm not against that."

Buck would take that as a win.

"Okay. Nice to know."

"Kissing your forehead was- okay- with you- I mean?" Eddie asked then, looking confused.

"Huh? No. Definitely. It was- cool. With me. Hey Maddie. Yeah, I'm still good." Buck pretended to talk to his phone as an escape from his awkward reply to Eddie. 

Eddie let him. 

"Tell her I said hi and thanks for wishing me well earlier." Eddie played along.

"She says you're welcome. Yeah. Mads. I'm gonna take a nap, the doctor said to. Bye." Buck hung up or pretended to.

Eddie hid his smile and shook his head.

"You didn't fall for that huh?" Buck asked.

"Fall for what Buck?" 

"You're a good friend Eddie." Buck smirked.

Eddie hoped to live up to it. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
